THE HECK THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Seriously, dude, what the hell is going on here? It's like a clusterfuck of crazy, and I'm just trying to figure out it all. Is this even a dream? This whole thing is giving me a headache. Can someone please shed some light on before I go completely bonkers? Seriously Fucking Hell?! Dude, this is utterly ridiculous. I'm beyond stoked right now